Something Clever
Does whatever…an anthropod can?

Remember that time I was going to write a blog about comic books?

Marvel resumed sending me my subscription of The Amazing Spider-Man. Of course, it’s now Superior Spider-Man. Which, despite what the title may lead you to believe it’s not superior in the least. Yes, that’s a large chunk of fanboy rage talking. Cut me some slack. I’m a nerd. 

I was reading a review for Superior Spider-Man 13. I like to Google Superior Spider-Man and see if I’m the only person still upset about the whole Spider-Ock thing. I waited far too long to post about the whole issue 9, second killing of Peter thing, so I’ll leave it be. 

Anyway, Superior Spider-Man 13 review. One comment said, what upset him the most about the series was how inept the supporting cast was. No one has realized that Peter isn’t Peter. People that love him, that raised him, or worked with him for years have realized that something is wrong. That’s exactly how I feel. 

It still hurts me that Peter is gone and no one noticed. A dude who once was self-sacrificing, turned into someone not afraid to use lethal force. No one bats an eyelash. No one even questions why Peter has turned into a snob. The public is cool with Spider-Man literally punching someone’s jaw off. I’d like to think that if a villain took over my body Beca would notice. Why is no one able to do that for Peter?

So, there’s that…

Does whatever a fanboy can!

Dear Diary,

Today Fred kissed me. At first I was felt weird. But then I started to like it. Does that mean I’m… You know? Ga-. Wrong window. Sorry.

Dear Tumblr, Tumblrs? Tumblites? Tumblies?

Dear whoever accidentally stumbled on what I like to pretend is a blog,

As of 20 or so minutes ago, I have officially seen The Amazing Spider-Man. Eh, add another 10 minutes onto that. Decided to have a shower midtumble. Anyway, I know what you’re all thinking. “He’s going to bash the flick”. You’re quite justified in that assumption. I refused to read DC for years. Hell, I boycotted Spider-Man for a few years after Quesada did his infamous retcon. I’m stubborn, biased and a fanboy. The worst combination of words since concentration and camp.

I’m here today to tell you that I enjoyed the movie. I liked the heck out of it, even. When the film first started to roll I was skeptical at best. Were they trying to make it Ultimate Spider-Man? Peter didn’t use the equation from his dad to make the Lizard. He used it to make his webbing! Stuff like that ran through my head. As the movie progressed I slowly separated my love of Spider-Man and my love of Spider-Man comics. 

By the end of the film I was sitting in my seat laughing and worrying about Spidey’s bout with the lizard. I felt sorry for Gwen’s loss and found myself grinning with delight as Peter told her “those are the best kind of promises”. Years and years ago I read a similar story from Kevin Smith about the original Spider-Man film. I didn’t understand what he was talking about back then. I totally do now. It makes sense. 

My two biggest complaints about the movie are: A) That outfit. It’s terrible. Lose it. Seriously, get rid of it. I could shit out a more appealing outfit. Peter can’t stick to walls through shoes. The feet of your outfit? Those are shoes. I’m not blind.
B) The lizards intellect. He’s not supposed to be this crazy genius when he’s transformed into the lizard. He’s this monster who runs solely on his base instincts. Albeit reptilian instincts. 

Here it is, folks. The Amazing Spider-Man is the BEST Spider-Man film. It tops the original three movies. I was pleasantly surprised by Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Spider-Man. He nerded up well. Emma Stone wore enough long socks and skirts to keep me happy ogling the soon to be dead Gwen Stacy. This isn’t a death threat. Gwen Stacy dies. (Did that need a spoiler tag?)

Summarized version: Movie was good. I like popcorn and I have a loud laugh.

So, there’s that…

Who Needs a Plot Anyway?

Two blog posts in less than 12 hours? You guys must be excited as shit! I’m not sure who is actually reading this… I just like to pretend that I have an audience. I feel a little less silly when I break the fourth wall that way. Otherwise I’m still talking to myself. I’d be like Deadpool. Except he actually has an audience. So, I dunno.

I was reading the Gutters page for today (found here: and I was surprised at two of the comments I saw. A dude said that he preferred Japanese titles solely for the fact that even the most mainstream of titles is allowed to have graphic violence. A dude then replied mentioning a series and then said that at least the Americans are trying to catch up.

Now, I’m not a prude. I’ve played Grand Theft Auto (I still don’t believe it makes people murderers. But that’s just me), I’ve been on some terrible sites and I’ve watched some God awful videos. I am honestly desensitized to graphic imagery. I literally laugh when I Some fucked up stuff. But, really? Who the hell reads a title because of violence? That’s serial killer talk. 

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE manga. My reading list of manga is longer than my American comics list. I’ve loved manga and anime for years and years. That said, I don’t read Japanese, or American, titles just to see a dude get ripped apart. Yeah, it’s cool to see the fight scenes. I don’t feel that every title I read needs to be Kick-Ass and have people getting shot in the head or beaten to death and hung.

The fuck is wrong with some people? Christ.

So, there’s that…

Look to the Stars for Hope Burns Bright?

Living in the biggest city in Saskatchewan for two months initially seemed like a very unpleasant thought. There’d be traffic, long drives and a population several times larger than the city I’ve lived in my whole life. Turns out it was a pretty cool experience. Met some jive dude’s at school, spent some time with friends who moved away and made some (hopefully) lifelong friends along the way. The best part of my two month adventure was the fact Amazing Stories was a very, VERY short drive from where I was staying.

Instead of depending on my Marvel subscription, the post office or the rare trip to Saskatoon I was able to get my comics EVERY Wednesday. It was wonderful. Yeah, I bought a couple t-shirts and blew $70 on some Lantern rings. My point is, I had access to comics whenever I wanted. I also expanded my horizons and I now count myself as a DC fan. 

The downside to this whole thing is that I was busy. Yeah, I still read some comics and a TPB or two (three. Whatever), but I didn’t dedicate a whole lot of time to my comics. Today I spent the majority of the afternoon catching up on several different titles. I’ve got a few more to go, but I’m up to date on the important ones. …and Future Foundation or Fantastic Four or whatever it is now sits unread since August.

For awhile it felt a bit of a chore to read Spider-Man. I don’t know why. It’s my favourite title ever. Nothing will ever change that. Quesada did his damnedest to ruin the series but I’ve held true (after stopping during his tenure). I think Spider-Man became a part of my daily routine before I left for school and so it was a bit of a struggle to read it. It reminded me of the stress I had before leaving. Today I laid down on the couch, turned on Arrested Development (shameless name drop. Deal with it) and went to town on the 7 issues I had to catch up on. 

I loved it. The fun of reading about Peter Parker was back. Slott is one of my favourite writers and he never fails to put a smile on my face. The thing that I’ve taken the most joy in, however, is his treatment of Peter Parker himself. He isn’t just Spider-Man. You see how important Peter Parker is as Peter Parker. That’s something that was downplayed for years. I love that Peter is getting such wonderful treatment. The chemistry between him and MJ in her appearances has also had me grinning like a kid. I will forever be a fan of their relationship. Their real relationship. That of best friends and lovers.

I’ve been on a recent Green Lantern kick. Anyone who knows me is well aware of that. I have nothing but good things to say for all three GL titles, and the Red Lantern issues blew me away. I’ve also found myself anxiously awaiting the next issue of Batman. Which is something I NEVER thought I’d say. That said, Green Lantern New Guardians is quite likely on the top of my list for DC titles. Solely because Kyle Rayner looked badass as the hybrid lantern. 

Next up Teen Titans, Venom, Carnage U.S.A, Green Arrow and Nightwing as soon as I track down the first issue. Future (Fantastic) Foundation (Four) is on that list somewhere… Those copies of X-Force that have been piling up since Marvel said they’d give me that instead of Venom might as well find their way to the trash, though. Wednesday is also Scarlet Spider day. So, a trip to Saskatoon may be in order.

So, there’s that…

…wait. What’s the deal with this Spider-Men business, Bendis? Come on. 

The End is Nigh

There may be some merit to this whole 2012 is the end of the world shenanigans. I’m a Marvel fanboy. As Marvelcentric as they come. My ex-girlfriend was reading a DC series and I told her to get the filth out of my house. It was mostly a joke, but I didn’t get sex that night. So you can see my dedication to my anti-DC ways. 

Not so secretly, I’ve always been interested in the Green Lantern series. More specifically, the Emotional Spectrum. I do a lot of writing. I like to write myself into a series, in addition to the work on my own series. I always associate myself with anger. It’s how it is. It’ll always be that way. However, the Red Lantern Corps are mindless hate filled monsters. Not quite me although it’s not too far off. Anyway, this is a bit of a digression.

I bought the first 5 issues of Green Lantern New Guardians and Green Lantern Corps. I was surprised. As mentioned above, I’m not a DC guy in the least. I have as much dislike for DC, as white supremacists do for the blacks. Yet I’m enjoying the series. I’m actually getting into a DC series. Something I said I would never do. That said, I gave Superman an honest shot and it was awful. It hurt me inside.

I may or may not have also spent $64.99 on the 9 different corps rings…

I’m starting to worry about this whole end of the world business now.

So, there’s that.

Something about comics?

So, starting today this tumblr will officially be about all things related to the comic book industry. Because that seems like a productive way to use this tumbling thing. That said, I have nothing to write today…

Wait, scratch that. Issue number 1 of Scarlet Spider (2012)? Superb!

So, there’s that… 

Worst Businessman in the Industry goes to…

A week ago Sohmer wrote a page about Gareb Shamus, CEO of Wizard Entertainment. In the last year, Gareb has destroyed what was once THE magazine of the comic industry. Start and shut down an online magazine, steal money from his subscribers AND buy several of the biggest conventions in the US only to shut them down. Obviously, Sohmer did what he does. He made fun of the guy.

In retaliation, Gareb went after the artist of the page. He attempted to have the artist fired from his day job. A job that is completely unrelated to The Gutters. For those not in the know, The artists of The Gutters(save Lar as far as I’m aware) are work for hire. Essentially, they’re commissioned by Sohmer and Blind Ferret for a single page. Gareb went after someone who was only doing what they were paid to do. The page was taken down at the artist’s request. It was then redrawn by Lar and placed on the site once more.

Anyone who has talked to me for more than a few minutes knows that I’ve met both Ryan Sohmer and Lar deSouza. You’ll also know that I idolize both of those guys, and Ryan is one of the nicest people I have ever met (alongside Josh Ramsay. But that’s a story for another time). Ryan makes a joke of the Comic Industry, those who are a part of it, the characters and the fans. He doesn’t single anyone out. You have something to do with comics? There’s a chance you’ll be made fun of. So, what happened next surprised me.

Sohmer got angry. The latest release of The Gutters had a message for Mr. Shamus, and anyone else who would make a target of the artists. He made it quite clear that he is solely responsible for everything in The Gutters; not the artists. “Don’t you dare go after one of my artists. I’m a much better target.” 

Gareb Shamus was so offended by a piece of satire that he attempted to destroy someone’s life. Really? Why are you worried about defamation from an online comic? Didn’t you run a magazine into the ground? Trust me, people aren’t going to think any less of you after reading The Gutters from last Wednesday. It’s hard to think any less of you. However, after this little stunt I’m pretty sure you’re public enemy number 1 in a lot of people’s eyes.

Now, back to Sohmer. I respect him even more now. Dude stood up for one of his artists AND stuck to his guns. He didn’t fold before AssholeMcGee. He put a big red X on himself, and Blind Ferret’s legal department, gave the industry the finger once again, and then went back to work.

Seriously, guy is a hero.


Japan. BAM!